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Relationships




Relationships in all aspects of life are heavily in and on my mind these days. It’s one of those words that we perhaps often take too lightly, accepting the good ones without much real thought, just as though that is the way it simply is. But then, putting more thought into the ones that seem to be in some way out of sync at any current moment in our lives.

This is a curious thought to me, and it leads me to thinking why this is, as if to say, when all is well it doesn’t require the level of attention that seems necessary when all is not so well.


Maybe, as Ecclesiastics says, “this too is meaningless”. But then I know that when “all is well” we are basically happy. Things perhaps just simply don’t, because of their happy nature, require much in the way of pondering the why of it all. And, the opposite is perhaps true as well. If things are not well our energies are more in demand.


When all of this perhaps too heavy thinking is going through my mind, that’s when the word “relationships” surfaces. The value of relationships has become a much greater influence in all aspects of my life these days as I watch it around me and experience it in so many ways and with so many people. Maybe it is influencing me more at this point in my life because I no longer have that day to day one-on-one relationship with one special person. Perhaps that has in some way heightened my own personal awareness of relationships.

It’s a simple enough word, this word relationships, but even in its simplest of terms it can have potentially enormous impacts on our lives and the influence of our lives on others around us, impacts that we sometimes may not even be aware of.


So, all of that being said, the question for me becomes, what am I doing within the context of the relationships around me, whether they be a casual moment with someone I don’t even know, a family member, a dear friend, a business association, a neighbor. What am I doing with, and how am I handling that relationship? How am I entering into it, how am I leaving it? Does it make a difference to me, or do I leave it without the slightest thought?


Relationship is in fact the one thing that can put meaning into every aspect of every moment of every day of our lives. So, I ask myself, what am I going to do about it?


To me, at this moment in time, one glaring thing jumps out at me, one thought that has almost become a trite phrase in the Christian world; What would Jesus do? Or, in acronym speak, WWJD? If I actually applied that to every interaction I have in my relational approaches to life, what might change, what might really happen.


We are each small pebbles in the world, some almost unnoticeable, some much more publicly noticed, but all pebbles, all with the ability to make some kind of ripple.


Once again, the words of C. S. Lewis come to mind when he said in his book Mere Christianity;

“Little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.”

I humbly add to that by saying that one very small act may be the influence that could take someone else to their own unexpected victories. We often have no idea how we may impact someone else’s life. What seems perhaps trivial at the moment to us may actually change someone else’s life, even if it is in some small way. We may never know it, they may never know it, but the possibility is indeed there.


Relationships, they are important, they are meaningful, and they can be powerful. I am paying more and more attention to them of late. I hope I continue to ask myself, even in the most casual of relationships, what indeed would Jesus do? Then I hope I listen and act accordingly. I don’t need to be a boulder making a big splash, I’m content to be a pebble, but I also think God calls upon me, upon all of us, to do so, and I’ll bet being a pebble is more to His liking anyway.


The whole world seems at this moment to be relationally stretched to the breaking point. There are a lot of big splash boulders coming from every direction, but big splashes can be momentous, chaotic, and it can be an unyielding load to carry and make that splash happen. Pebbles are small, smooth, and beautifully peaceful, and so are their ripples. Oddly enough there are also many more pebbles than boulders, and a whole lot more people that can pick them up and do something with them.


We all have our small acts, our pebbles, and we all have our victories, or perhaps a helping hand pebble in someone else’s victory. All we have to do is embrace the relationships before us, perhaps even more so those relationships that we never imagined would be a relationship at all because the world has told us we are “different”, need to be grouped and divided. Therefore, we have to keep the relationship divide intact so the big boulders can manipulate it.


The pebbles all look different, but they are the ones that make the beautiful peaceful ripples in the pond.


God can handle the boulders, but He can also carry a whole lot of beautifully formed pebbles in His hand at one time and make beautiful peaceful ripples with them.

I am thinking I should beware of the boulders and their thunderous but momentary splash and embrace the pebbles and their gentle, but ever widening ripple. The boulder gets a lot of attention, but even it eventually settles down to a ripple, and it’s the ripple that lasts. The splash of the pebble is small, but it gives us pause to enjoy the peace of its quiet ripple.

Small ripples in our relationships can also often have long lasting impacts on those around us. A small difference is much more effective and lasting than a big sudden short lived splash.


Yea, I'm content to be a ripple, and I hope that sometimes our ripples connect with one another. Even if our pebbles look different, our ripples can can blend and make a quiet peaceful scene together.


Blessings <><

David Butler


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